What does Scripture teach about GRIEF? What can we learn from the Bible to help us walk through seasons of grief and loss whether in our own lives or in walking through seasons of grief and loss the “valley of the shadow of death” with others?
Grief can be defined as a painful and undesired loss in our lives. The more intense the loss, the deeper the pain can be. Why did God create a compilation of such painful thoughts and feelings when He could have done it so differently?
A brief summary of Biblical teaching on grief follows:
1) Scripture makes it clear that God created man and woman in His image (Gen. 1:26-27).
2) All 3 parts of the Trinity experience grief, sorrow and loss; so therefore we must conclude that it is inevitable that we will as well:
God (Gen.6:6; Ps.78:40)
Jesus (Isa. 53:3-4; John 11:33-36; Matt. 26:22-46)
Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:20; Heb. 3:10)
3) There are literally hundreds of verses describing grief, sorrow and mourning but there are unfortunately no promises that would indicate we can be spared from it.
4) The Greek and Hebrew words used for grief can be defined as pain, sorrow, weakness, affliction, groan, to make sick, sigh, to become weary.
5) Grief is a life event where God works even in the bad, painful feelings – they don’t indicate a separation from God, but rather a part of our journey living on earth.
6) The book of Job is a vivid example of anguish and grieving in extreme ways, plus the struggling with that pain that Job experienced.
What are some Biblical perspectives to help us deal with our own grief?
1) The book of Ecclesiastes has several passages on grief, including 1:18
“Much wisdom and knowledge bring sorrow and grief”
“There is a time to mourn and a time to dance” Ecclesiastes 3:4
Healthy aspects of grief
The section in Ecc. 7:1-4 highlights some of the healthy aspects of grief; to face the truth that we all will die rather than fear our mortality, it puts us more in touch with our heart and our mind and then we can contemplate how we are living our lives rather than just “party them away”.
The “seasons” also remind us that it will last a period but then He intends us to come out of that grief and live a fulfilling, joyful life again rather than being stuck in the pain.
2) Jesus also gave us teaching on healthy grieving. Matt. 5:4 actually calls mourning people “blessed” because God will comfort them.
In Matt. 11:28-30 He asks us all who are weary and burdened to go to Him and He promises to help us carry that burden.
In John 16:20, He even promises that we will weep and mourn but then we can experience joy.
He invites us to go ahead and mourn, but also to look to Him to provide us comfort, to help carry our burdens and know that He promises to return joy to us as we look to HIM.
John 16:20
HE promises to return joy to us
3) Paul wrote about his own pain, grief and affliction in 2 Cor. :3 – 11. He learned to let himself be comforted by God in these dark times and then used the lessons he learned about God’s comfort to turn around and help others. In Romans 12:15 he encourages us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn – join people where they are at! Paul does also remind us to grieve with hope (1 Thes. 4:13) rather than with despair or hopelessness.
4) Peter also said that we will suffer all kinds of grief (i.e. trials) and even challenges us to ”bear up” in the grief that comes with unjust suffering, which is so difficult to deal with.
5) We are promised that heaven will be free of sorrow and mourning (Rev. 21:4) no matter what happens in this life.
What are some other helpful things we can learn about grief in God’s word?
1) Job, who suffered unbelievably, was helped when his three friends saw his horrible pain and left their lives to go sit with Job. This was a big blessing to him (Job 6:14). What started off so good became very bad when these same friends opened their mouths and began telling him what they thought the reasons for his tragic losses were (Job 6:21).
2) The picture is of us inviting God and friends into our grief and mourning so that we aren’t alone, can receive comfort and who can encourage hope rather than try to understand or explain it!
3) There are numerous Psalms and even the book of Lamentations that encourage us to vent and cry out to God in our pain. Be open and honest with Him – He already knows what you are thinking, feeling and experiencing so He’s not surprised or confused! We can call out to Him in our pain no matter how deep it may be! He has comfort for us, no matter how impossible it may feel in the moment.